I would like to start off before anything in saying that I have not used the iPhone 5, I haven’t touched it, I haven’t even smelled it (although I hear it smells like inter-dimensional travel. Although that might just be the smell from Foxconn), all in all I am very close to the least qualified person to say anything about the iPhone. So why do a review? Simple. I am looking for my 15 seconds of internet fame and I have yet to locate a singing parrot of my own or build my own studio like the guys at twit and I’m still in college so there is nothing for me to do (studying and going to class is for freshmen). Without further ado here is my completely biased iPhone 5 hands off review.
It has been called the greatest phone of 2018 for 5 year olds, said to cause uncontrollable laughter and tears to all who touch it. It’s the reason why Santa’s naughty list is at an all time low and there are rumors it may actually reverse global warming
and end wars. (The UN is now telling me that it only ends wars with the aid of their people.)
What is this magical, miraculous, amazing device? iPhone 5. The device that tells your 3rd grade teacher that proper nouns are not capitalized when they are magical. iPhone 5 was released yesterday (September 12th, 2012) at San Francisco’s Yerba Buena Center for the Arts. One guy tried to get in with a Samsung Galaxy S III but was quickly hurried out the side door and sued for being in possession of intellectual property.